As she hands it to me Lorraine quietly remarks,“Let me share something with you Val, those schoolgirl pics ... in that VIP-Magazine you’ve shown Jez.”“Yes? What about them Lorraine?“That schoolgirl was me; I posed for them; ages ago.”I sat up to stare at her. I could see she wasn’t fibbing. I was stunned.‘You! how? ... who took them? ... who was the teacher bloke?’She gazes at me philosophically, letting me digest my own questions. Then confidingly, she gave a few answers.Her Aunt had organised it all for her. It was a business deal.Between them they made some serious money out of it but there was more than a few snaps. I did other stuff too. She lay back down, closing her eyes, leaving me in awe.Then my thoughts found a voice. ‘To think you’ve done all that, while all I managed was getting pregnant and become a mum on social.’Lorraine had sat up then to face me and spelt out the logic of it all.‘Get Jez into modelling Val! She’ll love it and it’ll get her away from Dan! Why you could. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”FaithA Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”FamilyA Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘honour’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”From the back, one little boy (the.
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